Saturday, February 7, 2009

My Endless Heart Break

I thought that this post would be going very different. I know that some of you are aware of our infertility that we have. This last month Ryan and I chose to give INVETRO one more chance. It was a long proses and painful just like it was back in June. But this time we felt different. We did all of the shots and the pills and the appointments. This last Sunday we were getting the call to see if it worked or not. They had transferred 2 embeors. We were very hopeful. It was great I had my parents with us along with the Foster family and the Greehalgh's had surprised me and drove out from ABQ to be hear to support us with the out come. It was very nice to have them all there. Well time had finally come and Ryan got the phone call from our Dr. I could not be in the room when this all took place. We were all standing in the kitchen when Ryan walked in and shouted WE ARE PREGNANT!!! We all jumped and crayed and hugged and kissed. I never in my life thought that I would here or say those words.
The next day came and my parents went back home and my sisters and there family's played. But to my horror I started to bleed. I was so scared and I could not contain my tears. I bleed for the next few day and cramped. Come Friday evening when I would have been 5 weeks I got the call from the Dr that it was true. I had miscarried my two babies.
I don't even know what to do at this point. I feel like I am going crazy. I am trying to find the good in this but I am having a really hard time. My loss of 6 children is some thing that I never thought I would have to go through. I don't even know what els to type. I wish that I had more faith. Maybe that is why this is happening. He has given this trial to me and I am still trying to sort it all out. I am gratefully for all of the prayers and thought of every one. Know that I love my Husband more than anything and with him by my side I want to make it. I love you all and I am grateful for every one of you out there.....Please pardon all of my spelling mistakes and pour gramer.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

My Family I love and Thank you from the bottom of my Heart

This post is veary dear to my heart. I just want to take a moment and tell my family how much I love them.
Mom & Dad- I don't even know where to start. I just want the two of you to know that I am so lucky to have such great parents. Every day I pray for the two of you that things in your life will stort out for the best. I know that Ryan and I would not be where we are today if it was not for all of the prayers and faith that you have had in us. You always seem to put your children first even though they are adults now and I thank you for that. I just want you to know that I love you and I am so greatful that I was able to be sent to this earth with such loveing,caring,selfless,speritual,fun,happy,and close Family that WE have. Thanks

Richard,Lisa,Tyler,Kelsey,and Ryan- I am so blessed to have a big sister like you and that you have such a beautiful family. I am so greatful evey day for the fun times that we have spent together. Richard know that I may have had tears of sadness on your wedding day but I did not know any better I have tears of joy for you and your kids. You guys have really been there for Ryan and my self these past few year I am so greatful for that. I know lisa if I asked you to give me the shirt of your back you would know questions asked. I want all of you to know how much I love and appreachate you. I can't wait to play more fun games with all of you. I love you so so so so much.

Jeff,Janell,Eathen,Hayley,and Brooklyn-I don't even know where to start. I am so greatful that my sister answers my almost every phone call. I know that the Gregerson family is amazing with all that they have on there plate right now. I love there kids and it makes my day when I get to talk to them on the phone and most of all hear them giggel. I know that I call late and I want to say thanks to Janell for not getting made at me for that. I love all of you so much and I am so greatful for all of the prayers that you have had for me and Ryan. We miss you more than words can say. I love you I love you.

Jason,Stacy,Megan,and Zoe- I can't thank you guys enough for taking the time and the money out of your busy lifes to come and spend the weekend with us. It was amazing. Stacy I just want you to know that I am so greatful for all of the support that you give me and for taking all of my phone calles. Your girls are just priceless. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such a great family. Greenhalghs You rock and I love you way to much. I can't wait till next time

I don't know how I got so luck to have such a great family. Hevely Father belessed my life beyond belefe because of all of you. I am so greatful. Thank for all of you and every thing from the visits, phone calls, fruit baskets, flowers, love and all of the above. I truley love you so so so so so so so so much.
Love your Daughter,Sister,Aunt,and Friend